What Have You Got To Lose? More Than You Think
by Amalia21
Summary: What happens when a strange delivery has Fred Luo so upset? What could be inside? Or inside him?


"Sir? There's a crate outside… Are you expecting a shipment today?"

"No… Who would deliver a package to me in the pouring rain? Anyway, I'll be right down."

"Sir!"

I hurried down to the entrance. When I finally reached the glass door that led outside, I saw something red in that crate and my heart was ripped from my body.

"Gene!"

"Sir? You! Get the Master a crowbar, pronto!"

"Sir!"

"Gene, can you hear me? Gene!"

He opened his eyes and just stared mutely.

"G-gene, it's me. Fred Luo."

He blinked, but didn't otherwise respond. I let out a breath of relief I didn't know I'd been holding. He's alive!

"Sir, please stand back."

I didn't even realize that I was crying until Gene- precious, sweet, dirty-mouthed Gene- gently caught a tear on his finger, his hand poking through the bars. I gasped, opening my eyes to stare at him. Huh. The noise stopped. Was… was that me?

"Sir? The crowbar, sir."

"What?"

"Please stand back, sir. We'll get him out and inside."

"Yes! Please hurry! Oh my god! Gene! What happened to you?"

"Fred…"

I cried harder.

"Yes, Gene, I'm here!"

"Sir! Can you help me lift-"

I hefted the steel barred-off lid like it wasn't three times my weight.

"Help me get him out!"

"Sir!"

When we managed to get him out, he slumped forward, straight into my arms and nearly knocking me over. I didn't care. I sobbed brokenly, trying my best to keep us both standing.

"Fred…"

I felt my legs wobble unsteadily.

"Come upstairs, Gene. I can give you a blanket and some clothes."

He gave me this… pleasant expression that made my insides want to melt into a puddle at his feet. Instead, I took his arm and half-dragged him up the stairs and into my private bedroom. I cursed my mind for wandering to the fact that the man I loved was naked and in my room- probably drunk as all get-out. Instead, I merely blushed like a tomato and tried to commit the feel of his dark skin to my memory- for when he came to. I plopped him in my favorite chair, then dashed around in search of some clean clothes.

"Gene? Can you put these on?"

He stared mutely at me, so flushing like all hell broke loose- and maybe it did- having to dress him in my own boxers and jeans. I did my utmost best to keep the straying of my fingertips to a minimum. For once, he didn't complain. I was petrified.

"Gene?"

"Fred…"

"Yes, Gene?"

My heart was back, racing a million miles a minute.

"Can I… stay the night?"

God, Gene! Have you any idea what you do to me?

"Of course!"

I smiled.

"How about some coffee? Something warm in that scrawny stomach of yours outta warm you up some, right?"

If I didn't know better, I'd say his mouth twitched into a second-long smile. I went to the kitchen and started the coffee, then grabbed a blanket to drape over him. Finally, I sat in the seat opposite him. I fiddled with my hands on the table in front of me.

"Ge-"

His hands found mine. I looked up sharply, only to see the same pleasant expression as before. We stayed like that until the coffee-maker beeped, signally that it was ready to drink. I sighed as I poured us two glasses, being sure to keep the rest on the table.

"Gene… Who did this to you?"

I could feel the tears coming, but I blinked them away. He shook his head sadly and sipped his scalding-hot drink without so much as a wince. I walked into the hallway closet again, fetching all the rest of my spare blankets before returning to my seat.

"I don't know, Fred."

I burned myself on the mug.

"Ouch!"

Before I could blink, he had my hind in both of his. And he kissed my finger where it hurt the most. I was utterly dazed and insurmountably confused; this did not seem like the man I had come to love.

"G-Ge-ene!"

"Yes, Fred?"

"S-stay with me tonight. P-please, Gene, I don't want you off god-knows-where, where I can't see you. Okay?"

"Okay, Fred."

He released my hand after kissing it once more, this time at the wrist. I threw all my concentration to damn hard work focusing only on my suddenly heaving lungs enough to calm down some, but Gene's hand on mine was just too good of a thing for me. He gulped down half of his drink so I poured him more with shaking hands. I swear! He'll give me a heart attack if he keeps acting like this! Not that I particularly mind…

"Are you warm enough now, Gene?"

"Yes. Thank you."

My laugh was unsteady. I inwardly cursed.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He though for a minute. God, why did he have to be so goddamn cute?

"I was… looking for something. It was dark. Oh, it was a picture."

"What was in the picture?"

"You."

My face resembled his hair. Why would he- of all things to have!- keep any picture with me in it? I must be dreaming…

"Of me?"

He nodded sleepily.

"Come on. I'll put you to bed."

He yawned.

"Sounds good, Fred. Help me up?"

We made our sluggish way to my bedroom before I realized there was no couch on the premises. I was going to sleep on the floor.

"There we go! All nice and cozy, right?"

I tried to be cheerful, though all this had me seriously freaking out. But I wouldn't let him see that!

"Fred… I missed-"

And just like that, he was out like a light, snoring ever so lightly, which I thought was quite adorable.

"Goodnight, Gene."

Inwardly, I added "I love you".

XXX

The next morning, I shrieked in joyful surprise. Gene had fallen off the bed sometime last night and was currently sleeping soundly on my chest. The noise made him wrap his arm around my hips, giving my imagination a field day. God! I was even drooling on his shoulder. What to do, what to do? If he wakes up and finds us like this-! He'll kill me for sure! No, worse than that- he'll never come to me again… I have got to get out of this position or else he'll think I planned this all along! Oh, what to do? I turned my head to the side. Oh, freaking crap! Bad idea, bad idea! But… his face was only a few short millimeters apart. I couldn't help but stare at his peaceful face for maybe an hour or so. I wished more than anything in the entire universe that I could make him look at me just once more- when he's sober- without hate or disgust in his eyes. Groaning, he snuggled closer, inadvertently pressing his lips to mine softly. It felt feather-light, but I still couldn't suppress my moan. Luckily for me, it didn't disturb him in the least. My entire body was on fire, though. I figured that I was probably going to hell for this anyway- he'd put me there by rejecting me as soon as he woke up- I might as well enjoy myself while it lasted. So I kissed back, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. Oh, fuck! He tasted so good! Please don't wake up! I shut my eyes tightly so I could keep the happy tears in while pouring all of myself into that kiss. My unsure hands found his scarred back as I pulled away for air.

"I…"

There was a painful knot in my throat.

"I love you, Gene Starwind."

He yawned, so I made a quick escape to the bathroom. I turned on the shower so he wouldn't suspect me right away. I decided to stall for time, washing my hair as well, at least until he was awake and screaming. And why would he be screaming? Because he was in my room, above my office, half-naked and in my clothes. I flushed at the memory of having to put them on for him. I tested the water. Perfect! I stripped and hopped in. No sooner had I closed the shower door than a screech erupted. Perfect timing? I jumped when the bathroom door was kicked in.

"Oh, Gene, you're up!"

He threw open the shower door, causing me to shriek, shampoo flying out of my grasp. He just hugged me. Just… held me there.

"G-Gene? You're not… mad at me?"

I swallowed loudly.

"Thank you for taking me in, Fred."

"O-of co-ourse I'd take you in! Why wouldn't I?"

He smiled serenely at me, then kissed my cheek. I gaped like a fish. He laughed a tiny bit, closed the door, then fiddled around in the kitchen. Oh, god, was he planning on burning the place down?

"G-Ge-ene?"

The door opened and there he stood, pot in hand.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing in my newly-remodeled kitchen? You're not thinking of breaking anything, are you? Your debt to me is already more than you can afford…"

"Oh, I'm making breakfast. Pancakes are the only thing I know how to make, though. My dad taught me."

"Erm… try not to burn the place, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… mom."

I spluttered, but he was already gone- with a grin, no doubt.

XXX

After my shower and a pretty good breakfast, I decided I wanted to know the reason for his sudden mood change towards me. Only thing is, I didn't know quite how to start that conversation. I inhaled deeply, eyes closed.

"Erm, Gene?"

"What?"

"How come…?"

"Why what, Fred?"

"Why are you… being so nice to me?"

"Because you're all I have left."

"But what about-"

"They all left me, Fred, when they found out…"

"Found what out?"

He hid his face with his unruly hair.

"Please? I won't judge. Promise!"

"They abandoned me when they found out that everything I've been doing, from the day I met you until now, has been only to get closer…"

"Closer? To what?"

He gave me a very tortured look, causing me to regret instantly my stupid question.

"Who do you think, Fred?"

I shook my head, unable to do more.

"To you."

I felt my head spin. Or my heart? Anyway, the next thing I knew, he was rifling through my delicates, grumbling about a shirt.

"Gene, those are my boxers! Get away from those! The shirts are in the closet!"

I flushed crimson. He re-entered the room with a very flattering form-fitting black tank top and an oversized yellow and blue vest.

"Oh, Gene! You look adorable!"

He didn't stop there but went on to peruse my dresser- a different drawer this time.

"Uh, Gene?"

"Aha!"

"You need socks?"

"No, just one will do. I'll be in the bathroom for a bit."

I spit out my coffee. I looked anywhere but in his general direction.

"Um, Gene? I value my socks, so could you please… not use that?"

"What are you suggesting I use, then?"

"Erm… m-me-e? Me?"

He walked over to me and lifted my chin up partway, leaning in so that his breath made me shudder.

"I'd rather use the sock."

"You heartless bastard!"

He laughed then, the most beautiful sound in the world, even as he threw the offending sock at my star-struck face. I ran after him from room to room, which really was only three or four. I really didn't spend much time here. Maybe that would change? No, Gene's up to something. He'd never not be mad at me. I sunk to the bed- when did that get there?- and brooded for a few minutes. Why wasn't he angry with me? I felt him sit down next to me, but I couldn't face him. Or the fact that he must've only come here to get more money from me. Or to cheat on Melfina. The last one I didn't mind so much.

"What are you thinking, Fred?"

"Why did you come?"

"I had no choice, remember?"

"Then… why did you stay?"

"I just… wanted you… to have a fighting chance."

"Why?"

"I don't know, really. It's kind of… strange. I always used to push you away, but my heart's so beyond not in it now that it… it scares me. I mean, you're a guy!"

"Gene…!"

He ignored my warning tone as if I'd never spoken.

"But… somehow it just feels… kinda the same, you know?"

"So I'm a woman now?"

"No! No… you're not. God, why is this so hard to explain?"

I stayed silent, trying to regain my calm.

"I've been having these feelings lately. About how much I miss you. It's like I'm drifting in space, orbiting around the space in my heart where I want you to be. Where I… need you… to be."

Gene… needs me? He's missed me? He… likes me? I covered my mouth to hide the sobs. I held my stomach and bent over in pain, tears falling one after the other.

"Fred…"

He blew softly in my ear, then kissed along my jaw line.

"Ge-ene!"

"For the first time, I think I might be falling for someone."

"Is it me?"

"Yes, Fred, it's you."

"Well then… it's been a long time coming! Why the fuck did you have to wait so damn long?"

"I was… afraid you were just… teasing me. That, if I told you, you'd turn your back on me like everyone else has."

"I could never!"

He kissed my cheek again, then nestled his head in the crook of my neck and shoulder, breathing in.

"You smell nice."

"Oh!"

I perked up at the unexpected compliment. They were always welcome, but I'd never have thought one would ever come from him. I relished it all the more, filing it away for later.

"Do you like it? It's lemon and mint shampoo!"

"Pretty."

I think my heart just stopped. What was that sound? Oh, my teeth ere rattling. Gene was shaking me.

"Wha?"

"Don't ever do that to me again, you damn bastard!"

"Sorry… What was that last part?"

"I said that you smell pretty."

I looked up at him shyly, a blush- again?- on my face. I thought I was used to flirting? Well, in my defense, he's never come onto me before now.

"Thank you, Gene."

He flashed a most dazzling smile at me. I felt myself melt into his side, my head on his shoulder. I sighed contentedly.

"And you…"

I kissed his neck, a hand reaching up to caress his slender neck before pulling away to look at his expression. When he turned away, I gently put my fingers on each side of his jaw line and turned his head to me. He stuttered incoherently. I giggled at his amazing cuteness.

"Yes, Gene? What about me?"

"I think you're-"

He blushed, which made me blink in surprise and let go of his face. He quickly turned away.

"Gene, whatever it is, you can tell me."

"No!"

"Hmm? You make this fun for me…!"

I pinned his wrists down with one hand and let my finger trace absentmindedly on his chest. He stuttered incoherently for a full ten minutes before he got used to it. I laughed.

"You're beautiful, Fred…"

I attacked his chest with kisses, holding his wrists firmly away so he couldn't touch me back, but I lost focus when he inadvertently ground his hips into mine in a last-ditch attempt at getting away. I growled. He stuttered. I felt him fidgeting with his legs. I soon found out why, and grinned impishly at him. He flushed badly, cursing me under his breath- labeling me as a "sex-fiend". Not that I minded. On the contrary, I wanted to make up for basically my whole life of pinning away for this man. But only at his pace at first. I don't want to scare him off. Inwardly, I laughed.


End file.
